9.35 am On a Sunday morning. Melbourne. This morning, just for about two minutes this morning…I sat in my living room with the TV off and just, for that two or so minutes, energised my whole self…mental and physical…and felt how good it was to be able to do so at my own pace, in my own space and for my own peace of mind…and the words of Tagore came to me…
Yes, I told myself, there are many seas I still have to cross. …not because I have to, but because I want to. These last few days I have thought about what these next few years will bring me. How much of the future can I control, how much of the future will control me.
Whatever will come I am comfortable with a few things that I have been responsible for…well not just me, but me and my wife have been responsible for. We have been responsible in bringing into this world, our two children. There are not, in any way, perfect human beings….but they are our own and we know that they are good people. What more can we ask for.
As for me personally, all that I have done before our move to Melbourne about five years back, pales into insignificance! One week after moving to Melbourne my dear wife was diagnosed with frontal lobe dementia and what I have done since then is to be there for her. I do not take care of her…I want to take care of her….and that “want” has not wavered since ……and for that unwavering commitment, I am grateful. I can tell you this….it is only when you are able to take care of those that you love dearly without expecting anything back…not even a “thank you,” are you able to tell yourself that “Yes…life is good!”
Thinking of that this morning, a thought came to my mind.
What about those who are able to care for others whom they do not know…whom they have never loved…who are strangers to them? The world is full of these kind of people…you might even be one of them! Give a thought to those whose work is to care for the old and elderly. Care for those who can no longer take care of themselves and care for those who are too ill to care for themselves. We must salute these individuals whose work is to take care of others…for I will find it hard to take care of others whom I do not know. Very hard indeed.
I hope that I will have the physical and mental strength to continue to be there for my wife and to provide for all her needs. Yes, for most of the time, I do it for her…but….and it is a big but…for most of the time, I also do it for me. It makes me feel good when the first thing my wife does when she wakes up is to look around the room for me. It makes me feel good that when she wants anything done to her or for her, she clears her throat to get my attention. It shows that she needs me and it feels good to be needed. And even if she stopped talking many years back, it feels good that we still have each other and that we are still together five decades after we first met. To me, my children and my wife is what life is all about….and I am thankful that all three of them are still in my life. Amen.