This morning, when I powered on my MAC…I spend the first few minutes gazing at our Jalur Gemilang. I saw beyond the traditional Islamic symbols. I saw beyond the 14 point star and 14 stripes…..saw beyond race, religion and the boundaries that divides the states and the divisions that divides us all…and saw only the Malaysia I left over a decade ago.
I saw the Malaysia I grew up in…in such places as Jitra, Tampin, Alor Gajah, Pengkalan Chepa, JB, Kuala Lipis, Kuantan, KL, Shah Alam and Bangsar…the schools I attended, the friends I made, remembered my parents buried in Jalan Ampang, relatives and friends…and all the other things that makes Malaysia my country, my world, my life….and I am truly truly sad for what it has now become! 
There are no words to describe the emotions that swirled around and within me…and there was this longing…a yearning…for things that I remembered.What beats in my heart most is the want for the Malays to be what they were then. A respected and graceful people sure of our place among others. 
We are no longer that…and that knowledge saddens me in the extreme. And now I know that my children no longer call Malaysia their home. Those of you who have not left Malaysia to go live elsewhere…for whatever reasons…will never understand that within us all that have left, there will always be a sadness within us for what we have left behind. Always….and gazing at the Jalur Gemilang brings all that sadness back. Maaf..