12.54 am…winding down for the day. My dear wife is in and out of sleep. Coughs a lot and every cough makes me look her way to see if all is well with her. She has lost a lot of weight. Her sleep is sometimes interrupted by those coughs but all else is good. I am trying hard to make her smile …even laugh but she has not done so for almost two years now….maybe three. Sometimes she looks my way and there is a flicker of recognition…sometimes none. I do ask myself if she knows me…remembers me…or even recognise me….but I am not sure…but as I said a few weeks back, she has learned to complain. And she does that often and sometimes unnecessarily because I am there beside her giving her a drink and I am a bit slow to give her another sip…and she lets me know that I am a bit slow. And so life goes on for her and for me in our unit at Fitzroy.
I had lunch with a comrade at our favourite place – Blue Chilis in Brunswick Street today. Two Char Kueh Teow, no chilli. 
I wish I had the “oomph” that this comrade of mine had when it comes to matters back in K Hell. That addendum to the Pakatan Harapan Manifesto that I posted earlier this evening on my blog and FB…all his idea! That “Amaran Terakhir” to all the government and statutory bodies etc etc….also his idea. On top of that he has been working on another issue now troubling us all, between Australia and Malaysia…and that I will write about  very early next week. Need signatures for that….and I expect you guys to help us get the signatures!
I told him about that white lady in London and me…and he tells me he has read about it…even that feature on me in SR and, like most of you, he was not happy. And without so much as an “excuse me” he starts to tell me exactly why I need to focus on the bigger picture! Getting rid of the Idiot and BN. This comrade of mine is passionate about the country he was born in and passionate about the people that lives there -even if he now calls Melbourne home. By the end of the Char Kueh Teow, this comrade in arms of mine told me that he had already prepare an apology that I should give to you guys for deserting my post during battle! And right now, he tells me, we are in a battle with the Idiot and BN.
That was what I needed- a pep talk – to give me that courage to first apologize to you guys for straying and then to get back on track with OUR work of putting PH into government! Thanks bro.
It is way past 1am now….closer to 2 then to 1…and so I need to lay me down to sleep. It will be a restful night for I am at peace with myself. To all you guys that continues to read what I write – thank you. For those of you who hantam me for what ever reason…for a slight…only a slight slip of judgement…saya terima.
 It is getting harder to keep my head straight and focus on my MAC. Time for sleep. 
Selamat Malam.