Sometime during my formative teen years at MCKK, I remember being told by my History Teacher that J.W.W. Birch (the first British Resident in Perak) was speared to death while taking a bath at the river in Pasir Salak by Dato Maharajalela and Pandak Endut.
Birch was murdered because he treated the Malays badly and had no regard for their culture or traditions. While he outlawed slavery he kept Malay women slaves for his personal use. He appointed government officers to take over the collection of state taxes and revenues …a task traditionally undertaken by the Malay Chiefs. And in all matters of state, except religion, Birch’s advise to the sultan was to be acted upon.  

All this made the natives restless.  

I remembered the story of Birch well because at that time our Headmaster was the late N.J. Ryan…the last expatriate Headmaster of MCKK. I distinctively remember thinking …”now who would murder Mr Ryan if he did not respect the custom and traditions of the Malays in MCKK?” 
Not that Mr Ryan would do anything like that for we all held him in reverence during our time at Kolet. And apart from Mr Ryan we also had a number of expatriate teachers in MCKK then ….and we held them all in high regard. Not only would we not kill those “whites” but we MCKK guys are well disciplined! Every time our Prefects told us to jump…we would respectfully ask, “How High Prefect!” 
So it occurred to me then, that the two Malay chiefs, Dato Maharajalela and Pandak Endut, must have been very very angry with the British Resident and very very and courageous to have murdered the British Resident. 
What would be its equivalent in these days? 
The natives…that’s you and me…are certainly restless! 
We have already voted for Pakatan Rakyat in the last election but our right to choose our own government was taken away by “legal” gerry meandering with the eager participation of an Election Commission that closed one eye and shut the other to their responsibility of ensuring a clean, fair and open election. 
Our leader, Anwar Ibrahim, and many others in the opposition have been unfairly prosecuted and persecuted and some incarcerated.
And now, like the British Resident whose advise to the Sultan had to be acted upon, this Barsian Nasional government dominated by Umno, is doing to us all what the British were doing to the Malays, the Sultans and to the Malaya of old.
The British took our Tin and our Rubber for their use not ours. Umno is pillaging and plundering our national coffers for themselves.
The British imposed upon the Sultans their political will to their own advantage. Umno have not only imposed their political will upon the Sultans but the Sultanization of Umno leaders, their spouses and their cohorts begun many years back and are continuing today with a vengeance.The Rakyat have borne the brunt of what these Umno leaders are now doing to line their own pockets and to hold on to political power.  
And while the British did not interfere in the Malay religion, the BN government under Umno now takes Islam as a weapon of choice to “manage” the Muslims and “control” the non-Muslims for their own political advantage.    

In all things Malaysians, Umno’s control through the government and all its functionaries is total and effectively complete. 

Today Umno’s “advise” to the Agong and the Sultans must be acted upon – and this morning when I finally had a look at the Agong Birthday Honor’s list…I ask myself if there is another Dato Maharajalela and a Pandak Endut among us all!  

Fifty Two more Tan Sri’s! 

As Al Pacina says : Hoo-ah! HA!

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Remember that “Doctor” scence in “Spies Like Us”?

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I guess that is what happens when these 52 Tan Sri’s meet with each other in the car park of the King’s Palace when they turn up for the award ceremony! Tan Sri, Tan Sri, Tan Sri, Tan Sri, Tan Sri…….ad infinitum!   
And for those new Tan Sri’s who do not understand what ad infinitum means (and given the standards of Tan Sri’s today I am sure there will be many who will not understand)….
again and again in the same way; forever.
Oh yes Hoo-ah! AH! indeed!

Remember those times when the Business Community and who else had the fulus lined up by the roadside in Pekan to dole out what they can afford to the Sultan to get their Datukship on the good Sultan’s birthday?

Well these days you have to be a bit more inventive to get a Tan Sri’s. 
Betraying a good friend would be a good start. Go ask Nalla and Ezam. 
Keeping cows in Condos or abusing the Rakyat’s millions that have been entrusted to you would also be another way to go! 
For the business guys who want another “jalan” to a Tan Sri….there is that con guy from Kazakstan whose wife is the daughter of Flom the Flop!  
They can tell you “how” and “how much”. Hell if her step brother can make it big in Hollywood and rub shoulders with the likes of Leonardo Di Caprio… ….why not her and that “Sandhurst trained” husband of hers? 
Those wanting a Tan Sri in the business community knows that they are the “go to” guys for a Tan Sri” …and what is the going rate? If you use her step brother “investments” in Hollywood and New York as a yardstick…the going rate for a Tan Sri is a lot…. a hell of a lot!
Now I wonder what they have in store for Saiful!
Tan Sri Saiful?
That sounds about right! 
Hoo-ah! HA!